To be real honest, these past few days have been really rough. Annoyingly rough. While I’ve had my struggles over the last few years, the teetering thoughts and anxiety these past few days have both made me fearful and frustrated. I wanted a reason why I was feeling that way. I couldn’t figure one out exactly. But to quote Ben Rector, “here’s the truth, life sucks sometimes”.
This is the hand I’ve been dealt and if you want to know my real opinion, well, I think this hand can go to hell. (Also kinda quoting Ben Rector) “Life is brutal. But it’s also beautiful. Brutiful. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated. Reject the brutal, reject the beauty.” -Glennon Doyle Melton #perspective
Negativity has seeped into my thought patterns again. I was doing decently well at minimizing snarky comments about myself and/or criticizing myself. But my demeanor changed with this low point. So. Negative. But here’s the thing. This was not my fault. Depression, as much as I would love to wish it away, will likely always be a part of my life. But I have seen the other side of depression. I have made it through an attempt and many other low points, I can and I will make it through this, no matter how hard it gets. This is just a mindset that says ‘listen to me’ once in awhile even though it’s wrong. #perspectiveagain
I have been on this crazy journey of getting healthy from the inside out. I can lose weight. I am able to exercise. I am able to walk. And with that, I have to say that I have some fantastic friends who help me with my perspective, even if it does take awhile to click.
“We’re better off the sooner that we find that life is mostly what we choose to see. Sometimes the only thing you learn is that life keeps moving on.” Also Ben Rector – what can I say…he plays songs that speak to my soul.